Thursday, 5 June 2008

Coming right back at ya!

hand and fork

Oh yes, siree.

Today is when it all happens. I face my demons. I look 'em straight in the eye and I SHOW. NO. FEAR.

All those tags for memes - they stop right here, people. No doubt several of you have already realised this, given my lack of response to past tags - but here (as my friend Manggy of No Special Effects would say) is where memes come to diiiiieeeeeeeeee.

Confessions first.

I don't know what it is about memes, but they just don't do it for me. I look at them, and my brain goes phuuuut. ('Phuuuuut' for those of you who don't know, is a sound equivalent to a kitten letting out a gentle fart.)

And so, in all the times I've been tagged, I haven't responded to a single one. To all those who have tagged me - what can I say? I'm sorry, ok? Really, I am. It's nothing personal. It's me, not you.

But I've just received another couple of tags - from Peanut Butter Boy and Browners - and, given that I can't cook (nope, still no kitchen), and I haven't been out anywhere special to eat this past week or so, now seems as good a time as any to face the proverbial elephant in the room and tell it to park its butt elsewhere.

So it's going to be on my terms. I'll do 5 random things 'about me', and then probably some other rubbish, too. Ready?

Let's go.

1. My freaky 'career' means that I'm qualified to lecture you, massage you, and sue you. (Masochists, please take note - this is not an invitation, ok?)

2. I live in the same 3-mile radius as Gordon Ramsay, John Torode, Sarah Beeny and Piers Morgan - and in which Ainsley Harriott and Naomi Campbell were born and grew up. The White Stripes also filmed their video for Dead Leaves here. No, I don't know why any of this matters, either.

3. I could arguably have been a professional tennis player, but I chose to stick at school and go to university instead. I have since slapped my younger, doofus self many times. Very hard.

4. I have a friend who's just turned 100. She totally rocks and is one of the most amazing, energetic, and spirited people I know. She stopped driving only late last year, having never had an accident in her life.

5. I am in awe of all you other food bloggers out there. Really. I read as many blogs as I can, as often as I can. Everybody inspires me in some way. You are an amazing bunch. And I have a few questions for some of you.

Heather (Voodoolily) and Michelle (TNS) - why are you guys not doing stand-up, preferably as a double act?

Peter (Kalofagas) - do you ever sleep? HOW do you get to blog so much? Your output scares me.

White on Rice Couple - you need your own TV show, like yesterday. If you need me to have a quiet word in Anthony Bourdain's shell-like, just let me know.

Jen (Use Real Butter) - where do you find the will or the energy? You inspire. Ditto all you others out there who are dealing with serious illness (like Bri) while still taking the trouble to entertain the rest of us with your blogs. And those who are raising awareness of major health issues, such as Susan over at Food Blogga. Great stuff.

Wendy (A Wee Bit of Cooking) - can I have joint custody of your new puppy?

Finally, to all of you who have tagged me in the past, or have conferred upon me all manner of awards - thank you so much. Just because I haven't added them to my blog, or mentioned them, doesn't mean they're not appreciated. They are. I'm just too lazy to do anything about them. Like I say, it's me, not you.

And for anyone who hasn't been tagged for a meme - no, I'm not going to start doing that now. If you're wanting to play the game, then please go ahead, be my guest, and consider yourself tagged.

Just please don't tag me back. This is strictly where tags fear to tread.


kittie said...

ha ha - funny :)
Hope you get your kitchen back soon, must be doing your head in!

Btw, I've tagged you for a meme, head over to my blog to ch....

.... only kidding!

Peter M said...

Forkful, you're quite funny yourself and get on with that kitchen already!

It's great that you're good friends with a 100 yr. old...seniors have a lot to say & share.

As for my blogging....sleep? Sleep when you die, I say!

Manggy said...

Okay! Okay! After a threat like that, how can I go on?! :P
Hey, at least as an academic you have all the tendons in your arms intact!
Hey, I am totally interested. Dead Leaves was directed by Michel Gondry, one of my favorites!


offal looks awful but tastes very nice, indeed!

Heather said...

I think ever since Michelle won a Joust she's too famous for the likes of me, is why. Also, if we combined our forces into Double Team Awesome, I think the synergy would cause an orb of approximately 3000 Curies (no, not curries, for those of you that've never taken chemistry or physics!) and we'd all end up in nuclear winter.

Mike of Mike's Table said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I have a handful of them to address as well...I feel bad about it...but eh...maybe one of these days.

Wendy said...

The best I could do is offer an open invitation to visit him. ;)

Nina's Kitchen (Nina Timm) said...

Hey, Forkful, I have tagged you for ....JOKES< JOKES, I get your point. It took me a while to get used to it.

Johanna said...

very entertaining stuff as always. I am glad I am not the only one who doesn't display awards on my blog.

lorraine@italianfoodies said...

dido on the awards and memes, so are you like nearly 100 too?;)

Antonia said...

Great post - how much longer 'till the kitchen is all in place?! Couldn't agree more re. Peter - his output leaves me quite breathless! And as for Wendy's puppy - how about a three-way custody?!

White On Rice Couple said...

wow, thanks for the compliment on the TV show. We're just a bunch of geeks who love food.
Yes, please have a talk with Tony for us, will ya?
Thanks for the great read and letting us know more about you!

Indigo said...

I know what you mean; I'm always a bit like 'oooh, tagged!' and then I forget to do the memes, or I can't think of who to pass it too, and ooof it's hard work. I'll remember not to tag you in future XD.

Tartelette said...

Amen! I have a cabinet full of memes...I am so bad too :)
Great answers though, at least I as entertained!

Bellini Valli said...

MEME's and awards take time to complete which a lot of just don't have. I sometimes do them...depending. I don't think that most people expect everyone to actually do the MEME' least I don't and if people are interested they head over to the sites I mentioned it they have not heard of them...networking baby:D In the meantime it was fun to know a little more about you and the people you asked questions of too:D

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